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Benny
27-02-2006, 10:05 AM
Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.


Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better. I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2004. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.



Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2006, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2006, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.



Can you help.

BuLLiTT
27-02-2006, 04:06 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: my mates here at work are wondering why i'm crying....thats soooo funny,good post Benny :D

russellg81
27-02-2006, 06:59 PM
n1 benny..

even though you have copyed and pasted it from somewhere..

imported_mrcol
27-02-2006, 07:21 PM
n1 benny..

even though you have copyed and pasted it from somewhere..

well, it is about 10 years old!

Ech0
28-02-2006, 09:08 AM
n1 benny..

even though you have copyed and pasted it from somewhere..

well, it is about 10 years old!

Was gonna say the same thing, funny the first time which was yonks ago.

Villan
28-02-2006, 12:30 PM
Then there's this in a similar vein...

WORKPLACE HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SYSTEM
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET

WOMAN

A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
---------------------

ELEMENT: Woman
SYMBOL: WO2
DISCOVERER: ADAM
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 53 kilos, but known to vary
from 45 to 250 kilos
OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered with a painted smile
2. Extremely volatile; boils and freezes without reason
3. Undergoes spontaneous dehydrolysis (weeps) for no
detectable reason
4. Melts if given special treatment
5. Bitter if incorrectly used
6. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to
common ore
7. Yields to pressure applied to correct points
8. Non-magnetic, but attracted to specific plastic
used in credit cards

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. As a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and
precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning,
and for no known reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased
by saturation in alcohol
5. Most powerful monetary/ego-reducing agent known to man

COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation; usually not
3. Used as heating agent, if properly prepared
4. Has ability to reproduce; use extreme caution

STORAGE:

Best results are obtained if the specimen is aged between
16 and 25 years.

TESTS:

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in a raw,
natural state
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

HAZARDS:

1. Migrates in groups of similar species; generally
congregating in frenzied packs around malls
2. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
3. Use extreme care if experiments are to succeed
4. While in possession of one specimen, it is highly
unwise to attempt to obtain another
5. If specimen begins to boil, leave immediately
6. Appropriate protective attire is required to complete
satisfactory conclusions


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